The Right of Passage

OK, so Sara and I have begun our wonderful "birthing classes". I call them birthing classes because to my great benefit I not only get to look like Bill Cosby (click on the title to watch the video) but I get to watch video after video of live births. Super disturbing. I will admit that I initially had reservations because I thought some hippie would be teaching the class and we would light candles and get "in touch" with our inner selves and speak to our fetus. So I was just beginning to relax when this was not the case until the second week the instructor (not a hippie) popped in a video. WARNING: If you are new to pregnancy do not read ahead! Or if you are eating at all I suggest finishing before going on. So basically these videos are completely shameless and I totally understand the educational purpose of them. I was being very mature about the whole thing and was rather proud of myself until...they were showing the birth of this baby that looked like anything but human. This poor lady on the video then looks down and screams at the top of her lungs "It doesn't even look like a baby!" (which was exactly what I was thinking at that exact moment) I was then wondering if maybe I was in the wrong class because clearly this was some biological experiment where albino's and aliens had done something they shouldn't have and this poor lady's baby was the evidence. There was an awkward silence in the room when the movie was turned off and the face on all the guys in the room was priceless (mine included). I could see that I was not the only one with these grand illusions of catching my child from the womb and all that manly stuff that guys do. Sure it's gross and messy but it's your baby right? Wellll, let's just say I am seriously reconsidering this whole thing after watching that video. I mean it's no secret that Sara and I are going to spawn woolly mammoths and hairy monkeys (tusks and tails included) but could you imagine what a hairy mammoth monkey looks like right after birth? I don't want to either. This has shaken the very foundation of my masculinity and I am not sure I really want to enter this right of passage.